Friday, January 16, 2009

An Open Letter to Aggramar's Alliance Population

Dear Alliance Players of Aggramar:
How are you?  I hope that today finds you well.  Unfortunately, I am tasked with providing you some truly horrific news today.  The following has come to my attention and I feel it's only my duty to relate it to you.  Blizzard has instituted a leveling penalty for all players of a faction with such an unbalanced population on any given server.  This penalty will actually cause characters to LOSE XP for every minute that they are logged in.
You're not buying that, huh?  Yeah, okay.
How about this:  there is no honor to be had in outnumbering the opposing faction 4-1.  Seriously.  As long as our server is that lopsided, the Alliance will be precluded from receiving honor during any type of PvP.
No?  Dammit.
Oooh!  Look!  Over there!  No, more towards the Dragonblight server!  There are sparklies over there, I SWEAR.
MY GOD this is harder than I thought it would be.  I'm starting to think that maybe an all-out temper-tantrum-hissy-fit is in order.  If I throw every one of my toons on the ground to kick and scream and create crashing rivers of QQ, maybe Blizzard will force you all off of Agg and onto a new server. 
I do not have anything against the Alliance.  Honest.  I even have some Alliance toons on a different server.  But I have to say, I'm sick to DEATH of coming home from work to a freaking 1/2 hour (or longer!) wait in a queue before I can log in.  Sick, I tell you.  The recent free-transfer offer applied ONLY to the Alliance, because they really do out-number the Horde by drastic numbers on Agg.  I expected the wait with the expansion, we've been through this before, you know.  And then, yes, of course all those students came back to the game during the Holidays.  And yes, a bet a BUNCH of new players got the game for Christmas.  Okay, you've all seen it, you've experienced the wonder and creamy-awesome-filling that is World of Warcraft.  But I have to say, I feel totally akin to my former Floridian co-residents:  these tourists are a plague.  Every one of you spamming Trade Chat while I'm still waiting to log in, you are my enemy.  You are the people on the interstate who slow down to gawk at the state trooper's recent conquest on the shoulder.  You are the woman in the check out line at Kroger's who wants to argue that those canned peas were on sale, dammit. 
Am I a little high-strung about this?  Ya damn skippy I am.  GET OFF MY LAWN!
So, please, dear opposing faction members, I ask you for so little.  Surely you could give me this.
Much love,

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